What To Do Instead Of Feeling Sorry For Yourself

So... You've done it again. You know what I'm talking about... that sin you were supposed to be over, that thing you thought you could hide because you decided to stop doing it one day.

And who hasn't?

The worst feeling in the world could possibly be thinking you've kicked the habit and then falling again. You're not the only one. It just seems like you are because people are allergic to talking about present struggles. They only talk about things in hindsight (word to the wise: a testimony is just as strong in the present as it is when you refer to your past; there is something so powerful about learning something with someone, instead of just from them).

I personally believe, as a sinner and a 20-year-old brat who needs constant grace, that you are allowed 4 minutes to feel bad for yourself before you reality check yourself. Here are some things you can do instead of going over your 4 minute stretch (in a list of 7 because I'm trying to get over my fear of odd numbers):

1. Take all your guilt and throw it into the sea

You know exactly what sea I'm talking about... the same sea God throws your sin into. (Micah 7:19). Let me be extremely clear: if the only just and true one in the universe, the God of everything living, can throw your sin into the sea of forgetfulness, then your guilt literally has no place in your life, or in your heart. You are wasting valuable growth time. Yes, you messed up. And yes, you will mess up again. Don't waste your time with the part of the story that shouldn't be there. 

So stop. 

2. Get out of bed

Seriously, get up. Go to the gym, go to the ice cream parlor, or go to the park. Get out of the house and go somewhere. Staying in bed and crying like many do, and like I have done, sometimes feels like you're "getting it out of your system," but staying active, even just leaving the house, will not only lift your spirits but will physically make you feel better. 

No one likes apathy, including yourself. Don't be your own enemy. Get up.

3. Let all of your feedback be positive, even if you have to fake it 'till you make it.

"How is your day?" "Okay."

"How are you this morning?" "Fine."

"How's everything going?" "Can't complain."

Time to face it: You're not the only one having a bad day. But your positivity, even though you're not 100% on that train, will change someone's day... maybe even yours. At my job, I've earned a bunch of different nicknames. One of my favorites is Smiley, given to me by none other than a man who used to come in like a grumple-stiltskin every morning for his coffee. And yes, I've had awful morning and yes, I've had sinful nights that have led to guilty, I-don't-want-to-deal-with-anyone mornings. But the positivity that I've poured out -- more like squeezed out, talk about difficult -- has not only made him a happier person in the mornings...

But it has actually made me happy. 

You will always, always have something to complain about. But when you look at how just one blessing in your life weighs more than anything else, you will turn your day around and even change someone else's outlook. 

4. Eat a Snackpack.

I don't even know why you're reading this description. Why do you need an excuse to eat a Snackpack what's wrong with you?

5. Be realistic about your issue.

Sometimes you need to get help. Sometimes the help is within your own reach.

Sorry, someone had to say it. Not sorry it was me that got to.

You cannot expect to overcome and conquer with ignorance. If your struggle is drugs, there is more to resisting than just not thinking about drugs. If your struggle is something on the internet, there is no way, "I'm never doing this again, this is the last time," will be your overcoming golden ticket. If your struggle is, I don't know, something some deem small, like cursing, pretending those words don't exist will not benefit you.

The truth is, you live in the world. You may be just a pilgrim on a journey until you go Home, but for now, you're here. And when you get back into reality, the things that cause you temptation or trouble will still be there, and plenty more where that came from. We can't be ignorant. We must "cut off the hand that causes us to sin." God is the ultimate, #1 breaker of whatever the heck you're going through. But that in no way entitles us to be ignorant.

Delete your drug dealer out of your contacts.

Put a blocker on your internet. 

Get a swear jar (and then take a nice vacation). 

You are not God and you cannot heal yourself. But ignorance is never bliss.

Another part of being realistic is 'never say never.' We put too much pressure on ourselves by saying, "I'm never doing this again." Take it one day at a time.

"TODAY, I will not be a slave to this."
Tomorrow will take care of itself. (Matthew 6:34)

6. Stop TORTURING yourself.

I will go out on a limb and promise you the one thing in this world I am sure of:

God heard your apology, and has forgiven you. So stop torturing yourself and bask in the amazing gift of grace, which is undeserved, so no, I do not care if you feel that you don't deserve it. You don't. That doesn't stop God. 

A great friend of mine gave me this example: If God throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness, showers us with grace, and continues to look upon us with favor even if we've messed up tremendously, but we've asked for forgiveness, He has forgiven. And He has forgotten. So if you wallow in your boo boo for a week straight, imagine God up there in Heaven like, "...What in the world does he keep saying sorry for?" 

7. Give. Give generously. 

Instead of feeling sorry for a temporary situation, one that God very well may have His finger on, go out and give.

Giving has always, always made me feel better. 

Side note -- I am an always-broke college student. I have a budget with the peanuts I have left at the end of the week, and I'm not able give my money to things. But I have so much more to give. I have time. I have energy. And I have a mouth.

Be generous with your time. Go have coffee with someone.

Be generous with your energy. Go volunteer somewhere.

Be generous with your mouth. Give someone some encouragement.

When you give, you will never end up poorer. 

Sowing and reaping, my friend.