I have great news though! God has been teaching me so much in these past few months and I finally feel like I'm able to share my heart.
People who follow Jesus sometimes expect that their life will suddenly come together and fix itself, only to find that they are more attacked than ever. The reality is that once we've accepted Jesus into our lives, we have the power, the authority, and the potential passion to populate Heaven and plunder hell. And we get attacked because, as one pastor has put it, we're on "hell's most wanted list."
This past weekend, my pastor, Ps Anthony Fleming, mentioned something very similar - that it's just an attack, and we need to PUSH through it! (Most incredible sermon! You can watch it here).
"In this world you will have tribulation;
but take heart! For I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
In the past few months, I feel like I have been growing and learning and hearing from God like never before, but I also feel like I've been walking through hell myself. And I could sit here and convince you that as soon as you start living out the plans God has called you to do on this planet, everything will fall into place, but I would be lying, and the word of God proves it.
In this world, you will have tribulation. No more. No less. Jesus doesn't specify what kind of tribulation, so we know it could be any situation (how many colors exist and how many times can you count to infinity?). You will have tribulation, whether you like it or not. But hey! Good news, He has overcome the world! So we're good! (Bow your heads and close your eyes.) So we have this good news about Jesus! He has already overcome the world and we needn't worry about the tribulations, the one's that hurt like hell -- oh yeah but they're still coming! So ... I don't know... duck for cover I guess? What do we do about them? Jesus has overcome the world, but I still have to deal with this pain I've been harboring, I still have a funeral to plan, I still have to pay off this credit card...
If you're anything like me, (imperfect is the word) there's a lot of finger snapping and "Now what, Jesus???"
We go through struggles in family, we go through breakups and financial struggles. We get hurt from others when all we've ever wanted to do was love others. And at times, once we're at our lowest, we feel like something else comes up and we get kicked where we are already bruised.
Sometimes, the situations aren't as simple as a small tit-for-tat family argument between siblings. Sometimes life is just unfair: we lose people we love, feel truly alone, and even go through depression. We swore off the victim mentality, yet someone makes us a victim of a situation and we feel ashamed. I can't be the only one relating to this.
So basically, life, as we know it, happens.
We think for hours, weeks, months about what to do about the situations we cannot control. We have ridiculous emotional breakdowns, and even yell at God, asking Him what the heck we're meant to do, but it's actually very simple:
Just give God the platform.
In this world you will have tribulation. This tribulation is obviously not from God. Your Father in heaven is the lifter of your head, not the kicker of your ribs. The Lord is never tempted to do wrong. But here's what you can do, regardless of where your situation came from: you can pick up the ball from the devil's game and put it in God's court.
That simple... choice is yours. Devil started it. God will finish it. Just give God the platform to make something good come out of something disastrous. Because He can, and He will.
In Matthew 9, Jesus finally gets back into His own city of Capernaum after getting kicked out of Gadarenes for sending demons into a herd of swine and setting two people free (a simple thank you would have sufficed, but to each their own). Once He enters the city, He's quickly asked to do a miracle for a man who was not able to walk:
Verse 2 says, "And they brought to Him a paralytic lying on a bed. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, 'Take courage, son...'"
Here we have the problem and the answer in one Bible verse.
This poor man, this poor paralytic was playing on devil's court with his hands tied -- he was sick and there was nothing he could do about it. So what did they do? They literally brought God the platform. Then Jesus saw their faith. I find this so awesome, because this gives me the courage that when I'm going through hell and it takes EVERY ounce of faith I have to get on my knees before God, the first thing Jesus sees is my faith. Far out, Jesus.
What were the first words Jesus said to him? "Take courage."
"I'm here."
"It's gonna be okay."
"I've got you now."
"Take courage."
None of this would have happened had they not brought God the platform to do something about what they knew they couldn't change.
Sometimes we just expect God to fix circumstances in our lives, all while entertaining those thoughts and giving them life without consulting God about situations we can't change or understand -- AKA while the ball is in the enemy's court, we're playing his game.
Oh, if only we realized the truth about how much God can change, instead of letting the enemy use our emotions like catnip to our destruction.
When I got saved at about age 18 or so, one of the first lies I was fed from the devil was that I needed to consistently feel guilty about the life I lived. I needed to constantly feel awful and crappy that I was the only one of my friends able to escape the drug scene. I needed to know every moment of the day that the loss of a great friend was my fault because I knew of his addiction and said nothing. Day in and day out, I was reminded of a lie that it should have been him and not me who was living this life of walking in the presence of God. Another lie was that he had to die because I had avoided God for so long and that was the only way God could get my attention.
And man, the shame I felt, the guilt... it was unbearable. To try to put it into perspective, it was so incessant that I felt that at one point, suicide was the only option.
But then, God.
In one of the first moments I had ever heard God speak to my heart, this rebellious 18 year old punk was told by her Father in heaven that she was loved and valued. I felt Him telling me this:
"What happened was not your fault, but let me take this garbage-dump situation and make it beautiful for you." (Yes, garbage-dump.)
Can I tell you how purposed filled I have been ever since? How much I feel the purpose and hand of God when friends I would do drugs with ask me how church is going -- or even attend church! The Lord is a faithful Father and kept his promise to a teenage brat who deserved nothing from a perfect God.
Thank God He told me to give Him the platform, and thank God I listened.
Do you know He tells us to give Him the platform still?
"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."
Psalms 55:22
I remember over the summer I was going through a difficult time where I felt like the devil was bringing up my past: the names I've been called, the awful things that were spoken into my life, and trying to convince me that they were right. I am thankful that God had been so faithful to me before that because almost like a reflex, I turned to the word of God and let Psalm 139 tell me completely different. I was able to find out the real truth -- that the devil was trying to throw me off target by convincing me that I was something I wasn't. Something that could have held me back for years was just a season, one month, because I gave God the platform.
Then, just this past week, I was driving home from school and was suddenly, out of left field, reminded of a memory that I had put away, like really put away on a psychological level. It was scary and painful and upon remembering, I remembered why I had pretended it didn't happen all these years. I was thankful I had forgotten it existed. And right before the freak out, I could feel God saying, "Remember that time in the summer? Give me the platform to make something beautiful come out of this."
It's crazy how quickly anger and unforgiveness can turn to love and compassion and forgiveness and grace when you operate on a strength that is totally perfect like God's! How in a matter of seconds, I went from wanting revenge and to scream to wanting to pray for someone who mistreated me and hope that God would change their heart.
You can't stop what happens to you, you can't stop life -- but if God is in the center of it, you can do so much about the outcome.
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers them out of them all."
Psalms 34:19
"No matter what season I'm in, I'm content because of Him.
It's Him that gives me strength to be content in every situation.
I'm not content because of something that happened, I'm content
because of Him. He's why I'm content and He's where my
confidence comes from."