If It Ain't Broke, God Will Fix It Anyway

We all know that as soon as we accept Jesus into our lives, or if you've been a Christian your whole life, really accept Him for yourself, we're going to change. It's that whole, "God loves us the way we are but He loves us too much to let us stay that way." We're told:

"And I am certain of this, that God, 

who began a good work in you, 

will continue His work until it is finally

 completed the day Jesus Christ returns."

God began this work (and thank God, right? We would have never begun the work), and everyday we get a little closer to the day of Jesus Christ. But daily we fail Him and it seems that work never runs out. Dry periods, distant periods from god, falling into one sin, finally controlling that sin and falling into another-- it's exhausting, no doubt about that.

Naturally, we don't think things about us are wrong. But if we don't think it's broke, God will still have a reason to fix it anyway. I don't mean that to be fresh or fed up; just thankful for struggles. But granted these things about us need to be changed. We can only help people as far as we've come. 

God, the Great Physician and, apparently, the Great Mechanic.

I was at the park tonight with my best friend, Marc (it's 2:30 am right now) and we were talking about that. He's my big brother and I really look up to him, and I needed to get him to really grasp what I was saying. He is a civil engineer, so I said something to the effect of:

"When you see big projects, like buildings being built, like really big projects, it's not just one person who starts and completes it to the fullest; it's usually two people or a team. And God starts the work in us because He promised He would, but I believe the effort He will put into the already-begun work is directly proportional to the effort we make to change and better ourselves into the person He wants us to be."

See, when you look at it as deeply as I look at, well, everything, then you'll see that God is God no matter how many times a week we change. And since God is God, He won't change. And SINCE He won't change, He won't break a promise.

He's promised us this good work. He never said when He started or will start this 'good' work in us (remember when you think good is a mediocre word, God created an entire galaxy and said it was good. Don't dumb the word down!) but He does tell us that it happens. He starts it.

He begins it.

Who continues it? Who finishes it?

See, as someone who has struggled with addictions where my mind and heart and body could not all work together, I was confident that God had started this good work in me... I was just wondering where the heck He was when I was giving in to my worst enemies. I know for a fact that He had began the work but I had seriously expected to sit back, be healed, be set free, be whatever and be fine. Be normal. I was not expecting to put work in.

God made the earth and every amazing thing in it in 7 days. He spent 9 months constructing me. I must be special. I must be important that He wants me to change. 

Funny story, I just started putting the work in.... two weeks ago.

It takes one person to have an idea and two people to bring it to life. Or put it to death, if you're thinking about the good work. 

Ranting aside, God begins the work but YOU finish it. That doesn't mean you finish it alone. That doesn't mean you discredit God; when you fail God, but still wake up the next day, that's God wiping the dirt off your knee and telling you to get back in the game, tiger. 

I was sitting in bed last night, really being mopey and desperate and honestly, PISSED at myself for just being me. Hating myself for struggling. Talking myself down because I daily fail a God who sees me as beautiful. But then I thought:

"I don't want to struggle anymore, but if I don't struggle, if I don't suffer, what will I grow from? How will people see Jesus work through me only the way He can if I don't have a hard time sometimes?"

See, when I became a Christian my life didn't get perfect; it wasn't some kind of EZ Pass. People, I feel, think that my life became this perfect little heart shaped bubble. Hear me now, friend, that doesn't mean I was exempt from pain, torture, struggle, addiction or temptation. In fact, I was subject to it. That's not the truth about Christianity. The real truth of Christianity is the shoulder to lean on and hand to hold when those hard times do come and an amazing, never-failing name to praise when those hard times flee. That's the truth of Christianity. 

So my struggles are still there. But I don't see them that way. I see people's lives changed because I decided to put an effort into my own life that God so graciously started for me when I least deserved it. I see God cheering me on like the proud parent He is as I run past a thousand defense-men towards the goal. They are not my identity anymore and it's only because I've accepted responsibility for the fact that I cannot do it alone, but I don't have to. 

PS this is marc <3

It's Been No Bed of Roses

"If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom."
-James 3:13

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it.

Prove it.

Prove it.

Despite my greatest efforts and the not so great ones over the past two years or so, this has been the most challenging thing God recently pressed on my heart.

Prove it.

None of us are perfect, granted, and I've got issues that could scare someone under the table, but who doesn't? We've got till the day of Jesus Christ to complete them, right? One day at a time.

One hour at a time.

One minute at a time.

Recently, three things I've struggled with for years randomly surfaced as issues. I'm not angry, it was an answer to a brokenhearted prayer. I notice, though, that my life is a constant see-saw and that the devil does not play fair.

Gosh. People think I'm disorganized but if you think my car is messy you should see my life.

The first issue was insecurity and being negative. As I started working on that, another issue, number 2, came to the light. I started working on both. I had a meeting with my pastor and another issue came to the light. I was juggling everything so well. It seemed I had outsmarted satan and gotten a good grip on everything. 

And then I looked away for two seconds.

As I worked on one issue, the other became an itch, so I worked on that and all of a sudden I had new issues and things to take care of and KOPDHGSUT904JSGNSLGJSDUT 9WPNTU WIGJSDL

So in James 3:13, it literally challenges you to walk the walk. Be a man. And I'm staring at it like... there's got to be some loophole. There's no way I can just prove it, do you SEE what I'm trying to accomplish here, like turn the expectations down a notch. But what's the point of nodding your head in class like you understand everything and then the teacher puts a test in front of you and you curse them, saying it's their fault and they never taught you? There's a whole book on it. It's your textbook. It's your bible. 

I forgot that also in the book of James, it says that God will not turn you away or rebuke you if you ask for wisdom. Not wisdom/knowledge but like WISDOM: the ability to make a wise choice in a difficult circumstance. And yes, circumstance meaning the net of temptation you accidentally got caught in. Too often I ask for Jesus' forgiveness after I've sinned and not enough times do I ask for His help when I know I'm on the verge of breaking.

He will not rebuke you, He will not forget you and not even for a minute does He forsake you.

I imagine wisdom in a water bottle waiting to be poured to people waiting to take a sip. We want the whole bottle in our hands because we think we can just handle it, but we end up choking. God doesn't rebuke us for wanting wisdom but I can imagine if He would get frustrated that we don't take baby sips to start and work our way up. He's waiting to pour out what we can handle and we just want to chug it down but all that happens is that we get bloated and want to explode. Then we feel alone. Side note, if you feel distant from God, guess who moved?

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it.

If you are wise and understand God's ways, ask Him to help you prove it.

On another note, a friend of mine passed away today. Rest easy, Clarrissa, you were a sweet girl, we'll see you soon. Your family is in my prayers. You're in God's hands now. Doesn't get better than that. <3