It's Been No Bed of Roses

"If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom."
-James 3:13

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it.

Prove it.

Prove it.

Despite my greatest efforts and the not so great ones over the past two years or so, this has been the most challenging thing God recently pressed on my heart.

Prove it.

None of us are perfect, granted, and I've got issues that could scare someone under the table, but who doesn't? We've got till the day of Jesus Christ to complete them, right? One day at a time.

One hour at a time.

One minute at a time.

Recently, three things I've struggled with for years randomly surfaced as issues. I'm not angry, it was an answer to a brokenhearted prayer. I notice, though, that my life is a constant see-saw and that the devil does not play fair.

Gosh. People think I'm disorganized but if you think my car is messy you should see my life.

The first issue was insecurity and being negative. As I started working on that, another issue, number 2, came to the light. I started working on both. I had a meeting with my pastor and another issue came to the light. I was juggling everything so well. It seemed I had outsmarted satan and gotten a good grip on everything. 

And then I looked away for two seconds.

As I worked on one issue, the other became an itch, so I worked on that and all of a sudden I had new issues and things to take care of and KOPDHGSUT904JSGNSLGJSDUT 9WPNTU WIGJSDL

So in James 3:13, it literally challenges you to walk the walk. Be a man. And I'm staring at it like... there's got to be some loophole. There's no way I can just prove it, do you SEE what I'm trying to accomplish here, like turn the expectations down a notch. But what's the point of nodding your head in class like you understand everything and then the teacher puts a test in front of you and you curse them, saying it's their fault and they never taught you? There's a whole book on it. It's your textbook. It's your bible. 

I forgot that also in the book of James, it says that God will not turn you away or rebuke you if you ask for wisdom. Not wisdom/knowledge but like WISDOM: the ability to make a wise choice in a difficult circumstance. And yes, circumstance meaning the net of temptation you accidentally got caught in. Too often I ask for Jesus' forgiveness after I've sinned and not enough times do I ask for His help when I know I'm on the verge of breaking.

He will not rebuke you, He will not forget you and not even for a minute does He forsake you.

I imagine wisdom in a water bottle waiting to be poured to people waiting to take a sip. We want the whole bottle in our hands because we think we can just handle it, but we end up choking. God doesn't rebuke us for wanting wisdom but I can imagine if He would get frustrated that we don't take baby sips to start and work our way up. He's waiting to pour out what we can handle and we just want to chug it down but all that happens is that we get bloated and want to explode. Then we feel alone. Side note, if you feel distant from God, guess who moved?

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it.

If you are wise and understand God's ways, ask Him to help you prove it.

On another note, a friend of mine passed away today. Rest easy, Clarrissa, you were a sweet girl, we'll see you soon. Your family is in my prayers. You're in God's hands now. Doesn't get better than that. <3